| Blah, Bummed, and Lonely |
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| 05:03pm 04/11/2007 |
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mood:  lonely
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This weekend has been pretty boring and right now I have been hit with that on again off again lonesome for my BFF feeling. I am just feeling kind of blah and wishing really badly for it to be December. I just don't want to be bored anymore. I want to have stuff to do and friends to hang out with. I guess I should give Machelle a call and ask her about re-planning our sleepover or just hanging out. She is not so bad to be with, she comes up with great things to do. Lunch at the elephant bar was fun both times except the pouring rain and ankles of my pants getting soaked the second time. I will drop her an email and see what she is doing.
I am also bummed thinking about how I can't seem to get a job. I was just telling Kristen on AIM about how I applied for the Frozen Yogurt place down the street from my place. This was a few weeks ago but I still have not heard from them. I was just telling Kristen that this seemed like a message to me from God that maybe I am not supposed to have a job right now if I can't even get a job putting frozen yogurt in a cup. I mean what could they possibly be picky about for such a stupid no brainier job. So if I can't even get a worthless job than there must be some message trying to be sent here. Maybe God wants me to finish college first, But I can't very well finish college without money and I barely have enough. I feel like a pathetic loser being a nearly 21 year old who can't find a job. If I was smart I would have had some stupid fast food job when I was sixteen like my mom. I guess I could try the McDonald's next to the yogurt place but I feel just as pathetic with a McDonald's job as I do jobless. Those jobs are for sixteen year old as far as I am concerned and if people stay there until they are 21 thats their problem. But I guess I have no choice. Its like my aunt said, at least its something. I always said I do not want to get caught in a stupid pathetic fast food job but if its the only franchise that will hire me than I can't say no. And it would make it that much easier if I were hopefully allowed to eat the food because being around food that smells god and looks good makes me hungry. Oh great now I want French fries! I am making myself really hungry right now and I think I smell fries.
I wish I had a friend to hang out with at school. I wonder why no one ever talks to me. I don't know why I would give off mean or unfriendly vibes of any kind. But it just seems like no one is interested in me except Trent who invites me to lunch with him on Wednesdays sometimes. why can't more people talk to me like him? Although I guess I am not helping by not really talking to anyone either. But they should meet me halfway, it would make it easier. Life after High School is pretty hard besides the college work which actually is not too hard. I wish I still had Janette's email address from my reading class this past spring. She was nice. She even gave me a ride home from the library once during a project when no one else in the group showed. We were required to give our group members our email addresses so we could contact each other outside of class but I lost all of my groups emails so I don't have hers anymore. And I was wanting to email her and see how she was doing. I really need a friend at school, it gets lonely during my in between class times when there is no one to talk to. Especially on Wednesdays when Trent is not around.
Today was just a blah feeling day, I feel kind of like Eeyore today. |
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| After Shock |
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| 08:38pm 01/11/2007 |
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mood:  chipper music: Mandy Moore
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Well it turns out there was one after shock Yesterday during History class. He had just started the lecture for the day a and a small after shock it. A bunch of the class got a bit jumpy including myself. These Earthquake make me so glad I am not on the second floor anymore like I was in my last apartment. Although my history room is on a second floor So creepiness had I been in there for the first quake. My history teacher says they evacuated the students though that evening. Too bad it was not during my boring ass Anthropology class I had made the mistake of taking las fall. I would have embraced any excuse to get out of there early.
I am so glad its November now, Thanksgiving yumola, and then my birthday yay. My aunt said she would get me a Banana split on my birthday. I can't wait and the sooner My birthday comes the sooner Kristen will be home in December. The time sure it going by fast yet at the same time slugging. Weird time, why does time have to be so weird. |
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| Earthquake |
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| 03:20pm 31/10/2007 |
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mood: calm
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Wow, my area had a 5.6 earthquake last evening while I was getting ready to save my latest work in prgress for Computer graphics. I freaked because it was my first big earthquake besides the '89 when I was wo and had no idea what the heck was going on. No after shocks though contradicting my nervousness. But man there must have been four or five different breaking news intrruptions about it just to show us the minor damage it had caused some store where merchandise fell from shelves. Wow big shockers, its an earthquake of course stuff falls over, the earth is kind of shaking!
I am now in the library at school playing the good old Wednesday waiting game for history class. I so don't feel like dealing with it today. aye, I want it over with. I have to get going soon I don't have much time to write this entry but today was an ok day, I did not sleep too well because I was nervous about middle of the night after shocks but its ok because I got to see my first couple of episodes of Angel with my mom before she left for work since my lack of sleep caused me to wake up early. Then I got to watched Charmed that came on After Angel although I think I have the eps that were on today on my season four set. I havent seen any Charmed in a while though so I did not mind. After Charmed I got pulled in by an ep of ER desoite my pathophobia(fear of disease). So I had a bit of a different morning but it was very pleasent seeing as there are annoying kids shows on Disney and news on ABCfamily that early in the morning. So now I know I have Angel and Charmed.
I forgot to finish the past couple weeks History reading, the first time I was juust stupid and this time I got freaked out by the earthquake. Thats cool though his lectures will fill me in well enough for the next midterm which by the way is in a couple of weeks, maybe even next week. Gosh time sure flies, it seems like last week was the first midterm. I hope I do as well on the second one. I got a B- last time. His lectures seem to stick pretty well in my head though a theory proven well by the first midterm. So I am confident that I will do ok. math is of course no sweat but it errgsb me because I sit in front of these two girls that do nothing but chat about the class sucking and making fun of the teacher. Its mean, she is a good teacher. Sometimes I just want to say that if all she is going to do is complain she should leave.
Well gotta get to class and answer my phone that is going off. |
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| History Hater's Dream Wednesday |
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| 07:17pm 24/10/2007 |
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mood: Peaceful
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Well today was an excellent Wednesday, somebody must have known that I needed to make up for Monday hehe. First I got to save bus money cuz my mom has her monthly meeting Wednesday today and went into work late and leaves late. Then math was good, I think Decimals are becoming friendly with me, I understood everything she was teaching pretty well. I think I am finally getting the hang of decimals.
Then I talked to Kristen at lunch(good lunch by the way, cheeseburger and seasoned fries) in the library after I ate since Trent was not around to hang with this week. So I also got on facebook and added to my interests and did some Harry Potter Trivia. I am so glad England's time zone is so convenient for talking to her before History class. I miss her and am a little jealous of her new friends because she is doing such cool things with them, not to mention she has the coolest Creative Writing class much better than the one I had; but I am glad she is experiencing good stuff. And it works out for the time I have to kill before History. Here in the US she is usually not on around the time it is for me when I am talking to her.
Then the Highlight of the day. My mom has her monthly Wednesday meeting schedules until 9pm so it was best for her to pick me up at 5:20 like Mondays usually are, so guess what that meant? I got to leave History class at the halfway point, YAY! Interesting Wednesday to pick for this though the lecture was pretty easy to follow this week but hey I am always glad to be bailed out of history.
I am now having some dinner and watching Quantum Leap. I need to work on my Computer Graphics assignment. I am concerned about my subject as its proving difficult but there is no way I am changing now. Without a work in progress its crucial that I don't take my mom deciding a subject. Well that part is always crucial but this week its more than crucial. And I can make it work especially with the help of some good QL screenshots from the Civil Rights discussed episodes. So I will do the best I can on that and if this turns out to be one of my not so great assignments that oh well,it happens I guess.
Quantum Leap is almost over but the cable is dead, well almost dead. Its been acting up since last night. Someone is supposed to be coming tomorrow. I need to think of more QL to put on. The rest of today should be boring nothing but watching TV and regular old internet. Facebook is best when Kristen is on AIM and I can do stuff with her but I have been talking to Alex there too, and she is good to talk to. I hope we can get together sometime but our schedules are moral enemies.
Ok time for it to be Thursday now. hehe. |
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| Manic Monday |
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| 01:18pm 22/10/2007 |
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mood:  Fine
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Well math was canceled today so now I am in the library passing some time away. My montage is done, I used a previous idea of mine and I think it came out pretty damn good. I just hope my teacher agrees. At least math was not canceled on a Wednesday this time, last time it was and there was way too much time to wait. On Mondays there is just the perfect amount of wait time. I am actually glad it was canceled, I hate Decimals I don't want to start them, although I have to finish the class to pass and get rid of my GE requirement for it. I was glad it was canceled last time too of course I was just annoyed at how much free time that got me. There was nothing to do except what I am doing now which is sitting at a computer. Kristen is not even on AIM right now. I Just want it to be December. I want to be done with school and to see my best friend again.
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Continued 5:48pm
Well the rest of the day was ok except the title of this entry is now much more appropriate. I had the worst lunch today. I made the mistake of buying a Wednesday lunch instead of my usual muffin and a drink. Its especially a mistake because on Mondays the kitchen is almost always low on food. So I asked the cook for a hotdog but he said they were out of almost everything including hotdogs. So Mistake number two. I ordered a turkey burger because I love turkey so I thought it would be ok but it was nasty. Then I got a milk that expires tomorrow and personally I don't trust milk anywhere near the expiration date. Then the two mini Banana but muffins I got were rock hard except the bottoms. The only good parts of my lunch were a bag of funions and a banana nut health bar. I still have about half the bag of funions and I only got a chance to eat half the health bar because the damn cook took forever to make my nasty turkey burger and cut my little eating time so I had to rush to the student store to get a gadorade to replace the milk and then run to Computer class. So I had to sit the half eaten health bar on a nearby table because the nearest trash can was too far and I would have gotten my assignment turned in late. After he copies all the assignments over from the scratch disk to the grading folder its late. But I made it on time thank goodness.
Then after class I went into the library as usual to wait for my mom to get off work. And got out to meet her a few minutes late because I was typing an email to my BFF in England and my mom got super pissed at me.
Over all I wouldn't call it a bad day, my teacher liked my montage. It was just a very Manic Monday. |
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| Idealess |
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| 12:08pm 16/10/2007 |
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mood: worried
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I have a new assignment for Computer Graphics and I am in a pickle. The assignment is to make a montage to visually speak a message concerning a certain concept.
I am not too great at explaining things sometimes so here is the link to the page on my teachers website that describes the assignment much better.
http://rickrivas.com/assignments/gde...s35Montage.htm
I am so totally idealess. I am worried I need to come up with something. I want it to be good. my first try did not come out right, it had no message, it needs to have a message. I'm Doomed,I'm Doomed, I'm really doomed. This is bad I am not supposed to be doomed in Computer graphics. What is the world coming to...! AHHHHH!
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| The Wednesday Waiting Game |
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| 02:43pm 12/09/2007 |
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mood: peaceful music: Forenigner
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Well today is another typical wedensday sitting around waiting for history class. This time however Math class was back so its just the regular amount of waiting thank God. I just finished my lunch and am in my capus library(where else on a wedensday at this hour). There is not much to say there hasn't been anything too special going on except that I have been spending as much time with my best friend as I can before she goes to England for her study Abroad program until Christmas. I have been doing well keeping up on my history reading and its actually mildly interesting material. I am now almost halfway(well I am guessing I don't really know) through the fourth chapter which we didn't even have to start reading until today hehe. I started it on monday after finishing chapters two and three which was last time's reading assignment. I am getting together with my best friend on Friday for the final time before she leaves and I don't want to still have reading to do. Plus its just nice to finish early so that I can just relax for the weekend. Oh yeah and I also have reading for my Computer Graphics class I can't forget that, which by the way is going well. We got our first assignment this week which was so easy I already finished it the minute I had gotten home on monday hehe. It was an interesting assignment though, we had to create interesting negitive space with our initials. One at a time though. I hope my flash drive starts working with the computers it was acting weird on monday and a nice guy was trying to help me, but it would not read my drive so I had to email the first part of the assignment to myself. And my mom did not pay some pretty good morning for a dumb dud drive thats acting weird. But my computer at home read it fine. I think it was just that computer I was using here at school.
Man it feels like more time has passed than really has. 
I just want to get history class over with, all he does every week is lecture on the chapters and its often hard to take notes because he gets to the next thiing really fast and I have hardly enough time to get the first thing down before I have to scramble to get the next thing down. Talk about writer's cramp.
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| Bogus! |
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| 01:44pm 05/09/2007 |
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mood: bored music: Forgiener - I Wanna Know What Love Is
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Man I am so bored right now. Math class was cancelled because the teacher is absent and although I am very pleased to not have to sit though it, it sucks because that gave an extra hour that I really don't need to sit around and do nothing. So I sat around the main building until about one and then I came here to the library to vent about my bordom here. It's 1:33pm now and at 2 I will go to lunch. Man I wish there was some way for teachers to get us the message without needing us to waste time and bus money coming to campus to see the sign on the classroom door. Had I known about this I could have slept in more and this stayed up later last night with Kristen on AIM. And I could be saving money on lunch since there is plenty at home to eat. Somebody smack me for what I am about to say but I will be glad to get to History class. It was not so bad last week and at least its doing something. I wish I had someone to talk to during this time and to have lunch with. When you have lunch out its always nice to do it with a friend. Oh man I just thought of something, this was also a massive waste of lugging my damn heavy math book to campus. AH SHIT! I would love any excuse not to lug that damn thing around and kill my shoulder. Lockers would be very useful at this school. I would love to go dump it off somewhere right now. *sigh* well the rest of the week should be a great makeup of this wasted time. I have some good plans and hopfully I can get together with Nathan. |
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| History Regrets |
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| 12:45am 31/08/2007 |
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mood: Bummed
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Ok, I am really dead meat in this history class. I tried to do some of my reading today and its just like in high school the books always go right through my mind like Casper the friendly ghost passing through walls. And there are TWO midterms, this class is freaking crazy! I really think I should have taken the East Asia history claass, the same teacher teaches it and told us a little about it and it sounded really interesting and Asian countries have such awsome custums and ways of life especially Japan. Japan fasinates me, I wish I could go someday. China is very interesting too and Vietnam. Oh Man, I really should have taken the East Asia history class. What was I thinking, oh US histry sounded seemed so comfortable because I was familiar with it. Well woopdie stinkin' doo! I made a big mistake in making the choice of history classes that I did. I am such a freaking idiot! Oh well I just need this class to get rid of my GE requirments perhaps I can servive for that sake, and the reading isn't s terrible. And after I am done with this class I can screw history and Math. but the East Asia class still sounds so interesting. Although I won't try it, the last time I judged a book by its cover I ended up in a really sucky anthropology class and my mom would not let me drop so I had to go through and suffer through it. I can see her reasoning though these classes cost good money to take. Anf in this case I need this history class and the math too. But I will pass on the East Asian history since I missed my chance. |
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| A New Start |
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| 08:56pm 29/08/2007 |
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mood: hopeful music: Forienger - I Wanna Know What Love Is
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Well I just completed my first week of school.
On Monday there was math class and computer graphics. my math class was just ahh whatever its math and I just need to get it out of the way for my GE requirments. And I hate my math book it makesmmy shoulder bag heavy. It was so dumb today we went over how to add anbd subtract and multpily. I felt like I was in elemetary school again. She actually thought people would forget how to add and subtract! She's a nice teacher though. Thankfully this class appears to be cake. I will hopefully pass with no problems. Then after a half hour lunch break I went to my graphics design class. Now this class seems like it could be fun. And luckily I have photoshop on my comp already for the homework projects which is a relief becuase otherwise I would have to hang around after school a lot to do them in the lab. The teacher seems cool and I the class seems like it will be spontanous like we can do whatever we wanted to do on the projects as long as we follow the prompt. I love it when classes allow that. This sounds like it will be way better than my art class in high school that I took when I was a senior. That was a cool class but we used the pen tool too much and it was hard. Man the pen tool is a hard tool to use. I don't ever use it anymore. And of course this class will be better hehe this is college not high school. Classes in college are supposed to be more informative because they prepare you to have good jobs and stuff. I can't wait to get started on some projects in the class. I need to buy one more book but I don't know how necessary it will be cuz I know a lot of photoshop stuff from the one my guy friend Nathan gave me. I have been fiddling with it and learning some stuff. I hope to improve on my digital and traditional art. I want to learn to draw like my dad, he was a terrific arist. My aunt may help me take a class soon at an adult eduation center in my area.
Well today was History day. At first sight of the syllubus saying that it was US history from 1607 through 1877 I thought "I am gonna die!" becuase that was not the US history I was expecting. I was hoping for some stuff on World War II and the Holocaust and stuff. But there is a silver lining this which is that none of my other history classes had ever covered this far back at least not that much so I am learning new stuff. and 1877, that means we will get to the Civil War. There is an episode of my favrite show Quantum Leap that focuses on the Cival War times, so that should be interesting. He alrady have his first lecture today on the first areas of the text book and it was pretty interesting. We looked at Christopher Colombus and Lief Ericsson and why Colmbus was given the credit for descovering America when Leif Ericsson was the real hero there. Now I need to read the rest of chapter 1. The reading is heavy there is a chapter a week to read. But its ok, I like reading and its healthy. Better than being on the comp. Now the next issue is figureing out more to do in between math and History as there is a very big gap in between them and it does not take me that long to eat my lunch.
Oh and I notice I have not been here for a while, hehe I got my comp back a while ago but he had no luck fixing the DVD drive. I think I will have to have it replaces. :(
I hope I can have a sleepover with Kristen on friday, I have emailed her becuase she is coming back from out of town today, I hope it works out. |
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| From Pages of Mom's Comp |
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| 08:26pm 02/08/2007 |
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mood:  Anxious to see Kristen again music: Rascal Flatts Songs
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Well Kristen is due to come home on the 7th thats five more days. She's been to both Italy and England with her family on vacation all month and I recently got two postcards from England from her, she is having a good time. I am glad of that but I can't wait to see her.
I have been on my mom's comp all this week so far becuase my cousin's dad is looking at my DVD drive, I hope he can fix it. I am going to give my aunt a call tomorrow hopefully I can get out of the house by hanging out with her and then I can find out how my baby is doing. *sniff* I miss my baby with all my stuff on it, my stories and my photoshop and my banners and avatars. My mom's comp is not bad to use its the same as mine and apart from having some random rebooting trouble it serves me fine, I just miss all my stuff. But if he can fix my DVD drive this will all be worth it. My mom is real generous to allow me to use of her comp during this period although she has her desktop in the living room and her cute little I-book for her work so she is not compless, losing this comp for a while is not exactly a problem for her hehe.
*sigh* other than that just doing my usual waiting for someone to talk to at Mrs. Nesbit's Disney Board and here and watching my man candy on Quantum Leap. My married Man candy *sniff*. Although its not exactly unexpected; with his looks how can the ladies keep off him? hehe. I am also finally able to finish some unfished novels I left when I started reading the QL series and Harry Potter so thats good. I like reading and its good for you.
In other CharmedWolf news I am starting school again on the 27th of this month. I have my History and my Math class or in a more simple term, my death. Although my graphics design class should serve as my IV supply and keep me stable hehe. I may possibly be able to make it through these other classes too with some effort. But I don't know what I will do next semester. I am taking the Math and History classes for my GE requirments and that leaves one more class and thats science. I was thinking of taking Astronomy but a lady at my mom's ciropractors office says she knew it to be more math than stars and all the other classes available for the requirment are Phsyics and Chemistry and stuff that's above my level that I did not even do in High School. Kristen did but not me. I may be stuck with Bio, AGIAN! I already took bio in 11th grade and I did not do the hottest. But I have found College to be a bit easier than High School so who knows. And I am thinking a little too far into the future right now.
Not much else to say for my current life, I will have more exciting stuff to talk about when Kristen gets back and my classes start. |
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| A-OK ...Almost. |
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| 11:02pm 24/06/2007 |
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mood: content
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Kristen came on AIM tonight. She is feeling a lot better today which is good and we made up from the fight. Nathan and I are going to see her tuesday just to watch stuff at her house so that will be good. I am glad everything is working out although I am still disappionted about Great America. I am also worried about Kristen because although she appears to be doing better I really hope that she does not get worse again later. I don't understand why she seems to get sick a lot in the beginning of summer. Probably because of stress from finals as was this time. I wish she would not get so stressed. But being at a university like her I can kind of understand why she does. I just don't want it to eventually do something really serious to her. She is my best friend. |
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| Wolf Tears |
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| 10:51pm 23/06/2007 |
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mood: Hurt and upset
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Well Great America is off because Kristen is sick. it appears that shes not too sick like she has been in the past so thats good but I had really been looking forward to it. As if that was not bad enough we then got into a fight over AIM about my finding a job. She doesn't give me any credit for trying my best to get hired somewhere. I called Barns and Noble a million times and I even got as far as an interview at Target. What more can I do? I can't control that these people don't want me. I can't believe she would be so heartless she's supposed to be my best friend yet she's not supporting me. I can't even bring myself to write anymore, I may contiune tomorrow. |
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| Reunion |
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| 11:25pm 21/06/2007 |
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mood: Cheerful and slightly worried music: Annasophia Rob - Keep Your Mind Wide Open
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I found out that I have a cavity. I have emailed my aunt to see if she can help me out since my mom can not afford treatment. I hope everything will be ok. I have never had one before and I am worried that it will get worse if I let it sit around and wait for my mom to do something. So hopefully my annt can help. She is nice. There is that paired with my AOL or AOHELL as I like to call it running slower than usual tonight. uggh. I wonder where those DSL parts are I am getting anxious. I am struggling to keep my patience with AOHELL which I have little of to begin with.
On a happier note, Last night I had Kristen over for a sleepover and it was awsome. We went to see Shrek 3 and had yummy food at taxi's. Its such a great place and the only one I know with yummy butterscotch milkshakes. I had a turkey burger this time and it was yummy and with a lot of good flavor. And we got to listen to songs on the jukebox, I love doing that. Shrek 3 was still funny the second time for me and Kristen loved it too. We also watched Bridge to Tarabethia when we got home that we rented and it was sooo good but sad. I really want to read the book now, but I need money to buy it.
Today was good too I went with her and her sis to their hair appiontments and after Kristen was done with hers we got some good sandwichs at a near by deli and sat on a nice bench and talked about or new ideas for our QL story. Yay ideas again after soo long. I was so glad we got on a roll. We even contiuned the roll when we got back to her place and hung out. its fun to just sit around and talk about QL story. I love it anyway. After Dinner I came home so now thats where I am and I told my mom about my cavity but of course she can't do anything so yeah. Hopfully I will hear from my aunt soon. My mom didn't seem as upset as I thought she would be. Aapparently I always think she will get mad because of some image she gave me according to her. And I guess she is kind of right. I am always nervous to tell her stuff like this or ask her certian things. I don't know why I don't mean to see her badly, I really don't. She's really a good mom and she loves to make me happy ever since I was a kid. I feel kind of bad.
But being with Kristen was so super fun. I can't wait till monday when we go to great American with Nathan. It will be so fun. We havent gone for so long and I don't hear from Nathan much as he is not often on AIM. He's a great friend though so I miss talking to him sometimes and hanging out with him. So this will be fun. I hope my mom will give me some money to spend, I am broke from yesterdays dinner and movie with Kristen. |
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| A Good Week to Come |
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| 03:31pm 16/06/2007 |
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mood: cheerful music: Rob Thomas - Little Wonders
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Kristen should be home later tonight and later this week I will be getting DSL. Yay I can't wait to be rid of this phone line bologna. Its really starting to piss me off. Everything loads at slug speed and I have to endure my mom getting miffed at me for being on for certian lengths of time. ugggh. That's the worst part of all, only one person at a time can use it. Life will be good with DSL.
And I can't wait ti hang out with Kristen yay. I hope we can go to a movie this week at least if out sleepover has to wait. cuz Shrek The Third is funny and I wanna see it again with her. Or maybe Ratatoullie, is that out yet or next week or something? cuz that movie looks cute too :)
DSL WILL ROCK! |
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| The College Life for Me |
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| 11:57pm 14/06/2007 |
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mood: Sad and hopeful music: Rob Thomas - Little Wonders
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I wish my college life was more like Kristen's. She has a lot of bands friends that are cool and invite her to cool parties and go with her to get midnight snacks and stuff. I only go to a community college which is not too much different from attending high school. The most exciting moment there is when we had the bomb threat last month but it was on a friday so I was not even there. Although then we had the fire drill during reading class that was pretty cool. We got to sit outside and do class until the alarm stopped because there was a speaker for it blaring right in the classroom. I really liked reading class, my teacher Aaron is awsome. He is so funny sometimes in kidish ways. He knows just how to make a class fun. I wish I could have a teacher like him for my math and especially for my history class that I am taking this fall. I could really use a teacher like him in those classes, I am going to miss having him. College was pretty enjoyable up until now, but now its going to be like I am in high school all over again. I wish I could go to Kristen's college with her. I have been there to visit her and she has it so cool there. Its like having our own little apartment in a small city. It would be so great and I would finally have a life. Sometimes I feel like she likes haging out with Shane(a guy friend she's had almost as long as she's known me maybe a little longer) and her other friends more than she likes to talk to me on AIM lately. Who can blame her, they are right there where she can walk to them and I am several cities away. I really hope Kristen and I don't grow apart despite the spaces that may come between us. She is the best friend I have ever had.
I really hope some employer out there will give me a chance despite my lack of expierence (unlike three other places already). I mean what do these people expect for me to get expierence by having God sprinkle magic dust on me? It's unfair and wrong the way employment works. Espeically having to look a certian way to make the right impression because apparently they take one look at you and decide what kind of person you are. So stupid. I need to get out in the world and meet some people. I really hope there is a Scott Bakula(my fav actor now, as I am over john Stamos.) out there waiting for me. I would really love to have man that is kind and understanding and sensitve who will be there for me when I need him. I need the expierence too, all my friends have it but me. Its like I always seem to be left out. |
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| From College Back to High School. |
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| 04:02pm 11/06/2007 |
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mood: Excited yet worried music: Little Wonders - Rob Thomas
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Well I am in college since I was last updating this thing. I am majoring in writing, and I have been taking some great classes that I have done great in. I even made the Dean's list. But now I think that's all about to change. I am forced to take a math, a history, and a science class if I am to graduate. I am taking a math and history class this fall. my two weakest subjects. It makes me afraid that I will be taken off the Dean's list. it's going to be a real drag. I am not sure how I will make it through. Back in high school I had Kristen there to help me when I needed it but thats not as easy over email or IM. Hopefully my graphics degisn class will be the highlight of the semester. I am testing it our for a potential second major. it sounds like it would be fun. I really do like working on computers so whatever my second major is, I am sure it will be in computers. its something I am pretty good at besides writing. College has been so much easier than High school for me because I have been able to take classes of my pleasure. Until now, now I about to return to the struggles of high school. The one time I am finally becoming the student I have always wished to be in High School, its been taken away from me. At least thats what I am afriad is happening. I have never been good in math and history especially history. It was always difficult for me to understand. Some of it mildly interesting, and those portions are not so hard to understand but most of it was not in my interest and thus my brain could not grasp it. Maybe, just maybve if I tried to take interest in what I am learning, just maybe I can understand it and be able to do well. Eaither way it is bound to be a very long fall. I have also been without wireless now for almost three weeks. Hopefully the people who own the router we are mooching from have not protected it.(we are new to the wireless thing, my laptop came with it so I didnt know know how it was working) Kristen, my BFF is coming home this friday at least for a little while. I can't wait to see her. We are going to have the most awsome sleepover. The days seem to be speeding by yet pulling themselves along like slugs. The day Kristen will be home is so close but it seems like its still pretty far away. I hope we can spend as much time together as we can before she leaves for a summerlong vacation before staying in England for the fall. I am going to miss her mostly because I will not be able to even talk to her on AIM with the time difference. I mean maybe simetimes but we have to learn to time our signing on a different way if we are to catch each other. But no amount of distance can chance our friendship I am sure of that. I am hoping the fall will pass quickly. Not only to have Kristen back sooner but also so that my fall classes will be over that much quicker. Definietly going to be a long fall.
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| What is Love? |
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| 05:23pm 19/01/2006 |
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mood: content music: Far Away - Nickelback
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a while ago one of my uncles forwarded this to me, i found it so amazing that sent it on to my best friend. it had been sitting in my inbox ever since and just today all of a sudden i was thinking about it, and decided to sahre it with more friends, and now i wanna post it here.
Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it.
Touching words from the mouth of babes.
What does Love mean?
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.
See what you think:
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over
and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8
When someone loves you, the way they say your name is
different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on
shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of
your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy -age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired
of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop
opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with
a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he
wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are
still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared.
I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8
"My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left
him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an imagination)
Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it.
But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once
talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old
gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"
When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out
that God is all you need. |
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| HO HO HO! |
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| 02:05pm 29/12/2005 |
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mood: anxious music: Far Away - Nickelback
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i have to say, this has to be one of my best christmas's since i was a kid, well in a sense anyway. my real christmas, however was on christmas eve, i don't know why my fmaily decided on that since i no longer have my dad to spend christmas day with, but they did, and it was great. we had pizza, and my mom being addicted to her digital camera drowned me in pictures with everyone in the family that was there. oh well it was worse on graduation day when like five people were taking pictures at the same time. anyway, the present opening was obviously the best part, i tried to be calm and pacient this time with hopes that it would pass very slowly, no luck though. i got a lot of good things, my aunt had gotten me a w extra things to make up for not having my dad this year, becasue he always got me a pile of presents and had an order i was to follow when opening them, it was actually kinda cool. but unfortunatly that is no more. it got even better too becasue after the night with my family i went with my best friend's family to their church for the christmas service and it was really great, i had never done anything like it before. there were stories and singing carols. it was a night not to be forgotten. but then unfortunatly, when christmas offically came, it was just another day for me, and empty day because this time i had no where to be. i made it through ok though, and now i have an awsome new years eve to look forward too with my best friend, having a good dinner and making pumkin pie, as long as we do the salt right and dont get it only in one spot so i have to get the slice with the yuckola salty crust, lol. we did that on halloween a few years back. we put in the salt too late and it only ended up in one section and i got the slice where that section was. YUCK! i can't help it i love bringing that up hehe, cuz now that it's the past it's actually funny. lol, oh i can't wait, two more days, yay, and we have good movies to watch too. yay!
happy holiays everyone =) (although it's too late kind of to say that) |
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